So, in these troubled economic times, we all have to tighten our belts….dig down deep and make do or do without…which is why, and it all makes perfect sense, we bought a boat.

Not just ANY boat, mind you. A classic wooden boat. It was an offer from a friend that we couldn’t refuse!

OK, that’s a lie. We could have refused. We should have refused. We should have run away screaming, had we had any sense whatsoever. But, we were in love lust from the minute we saw it.

We are such consumers. Sigh.

And that is why we find ourselves (well, mostly my husband but I do help a bit) out in the garage every night working on the damn thing. It is beautiful. And it is a huge, sucking chest wound on our pocketbook!

I can’t wait to get out on a river with it,but I do keep thinking of that Talking Heads line: “And you may say to yourself, ‘My God, what have I done?!’”

Because I wanted to slap some people today.

A nice, solid smack upside the head.

#1: A guy walks up to the Reference Desk (no, this is not the start of a joke…if only it was, people…if only it was…) and asks about a certain movie. He wants to watch Putney Swope. As I am looking it up, he tells me, in his words: “It’s a movie about a black guy who works for this company and he accidentally gets voted in to be the company president. Then, he goes and fires all the white guys and replaces them with all blacks. Yeah, and I guess that will really end up happening in real life soon if Obama is actually elected, huh?”

WTF?! As I am not good at snappy comebacks ( I usually think of something witty to say as they are leaving and getting into their cars), I just stared at him and blinked slowly. I’m thinking he missed the message of this movie.

#2 Our resident old codger stopped in to talk the ear off anyone he can corner. I’d like to feel sorry for the old man but when he starts to loudly recall his old days back when he was a member of the KKK he loses any goodwill from me.

#3 Fruit Bat, as I am now calling crazy computer lady, is off her meds again. Today, she picks me to be her lackey. As I am working at my desk, I hear Fruit Bat shout from across the room: ”Hey, hey (snapping fingers)…I need you over here at my computer now!” So, taking my time (I don’t respond well to snapping…), I make my way over there.

She wants me to type in an email address for her. Nope, I won’t do that. Partly because I’ve seen her use the computer every day now for months (sending emails a plenty) and she is perfectly capable of typing this in on her own (and since she claims to be, among other things, a private detective one would think she should be able to master this herself), but mainly because we have a policy that says we don’t do crap like that. I explain this and she then wants me to “confirm” that it is a real email address and guarantee that the email will get there.

I look at what she has written on a scrap of paper and it is complete gibberish. No, I am pretty certain that is not an email address. No, I have never seen an email address that looks like that. But, that’s not acceptable to her because she wrote it down exactly and it can’t be wrong so she says, with an annoyed sigh, “Then go get me the head librarian!” I tell her that he is on the phone but when he is done she is welcome to come to the Reference Desk and talk to him. Then I walk away.

So, for all those mentioned above, this video clip is for you:

Yes, I have been spending WAY too much time at I Can Has Cheezburger (which you either love or hate…there is no middle ground).

I just found out about this organization that encourages city dwellers to keep chickens, Urban Chickens. A local food/garden organization that helps establish garden plots for low income inner city residents is giving this a try, too. I’m curious to see how it turns out, as they are also going to have goats.

And now…I want a chicken! Last summer, my sister and I went to the county fair and saw some very freaky and some very beautiful chickens. Wish I had some pics from that…maybe next time. Not that I really could handle the work required to keep chickens even if I did live in a “pro-chicken city” (as their website says…I can just see that on the signs entering the city now…).

Check out the design for the Chicken Tractor…how cool is that!

Now for something very, very strange: You’ve got to know your chicken

I had one of those odd days where two completely different patrons asked me the same obscure copyright question about a hour apart. While I was looking up the answer online at www.copyright.gov I found out something even more odd:

Apparently, so many freaks  people have bothered the U. S. Copyright Office about how to copyright their sightings of Elvis that they put this question on their FAQ page!

Sadly for all you Waffle House patrons, you can ONLY copyright your actual pictures of Elvis. Read the full text from the Copyright Offive here for details.

This is important info, as there was a scuffle over copyright of a picture of a dead Elvis  (don’t worry fans, I’m sure it was faked just like those landing on the Moon shots…) from that bastion of authenticity, the National Enquirer.

Incidentally, there is a really cool site called Ask a Librarian that the Library of Congress has here. What I really like is the policy note at the bottom that says:

“Please note that the scope of the services does not include: compilation of extensive bibliographies, requests for information connected with contests, completion of school or work assignments, translations or research in heraldry or family history.”

Can I use that at my job, please?! People, do your own homework!

(You just KNOW Freud would have had a field day with this illustration!)

I had two very different conversations with two kids this week at the library. They went a little like this:

Conversation #1:

     After a program, I am looking at some children’s books we had set out with a boy in 4th grade. He is talking about one of the pictures when he suddenly stops mid-sentence, wrinkles his nose and says,

      Boy: “What smells!?”

      Me: “Not me!” After I pretend to smell my pits in an exaggerated way (Hey, am I classy or what).

     He then mimics me, smells his pits, looks surprized and says,

     Boy: “Ug. It’s me!”

Conversation #2:

 I am sitting at the Reference Desk when a very diminutive 4th grade boy walks up and says,

     Boy: “Can you tell me where the philosophy section is?”

     Me: (being a good librarian and asking for more info) Yes, but we have a lot of books in that area… can you tell me more about what type of book you want? (blah, blah, blah)”

     Boy: “Well, I’m looking for books written by Nietzsche.”

     Me: “Nietzsche???!!!” (Jaw dropping to floor)

     Boy: “Yes, he was a great philosopher…I’ve already finished reading Kierkegaard so I thought I’d try Nietzsche now. Do you want me to spell his name for you?”

(Yes, I’m still listening to kid music Cd’s since I am a children’s librarian and need to use this stuff for programs…)

In a previous post, I had mentioned the very odd music Cd’s and videos from Mother Goose Rocks.

Well, now we have another series of odd music for kiddies: Rockabye Baby!

They take popular artists and perform their songs as lullabies for kids. This gets very, very odd when you discover the “lullaby renditions” of The Cure. Gee, oddly enough, they choose not to do a version of “Killing an Arab”…..wonder why…..

These are all instrumentals done mainly with, …are you ready for this…, a glockenspiel, vibraphone and mellotron. I’m not sure how that transfers for the Metallica album but the Beach Boys one stinks. Check out all the odd titles here!

Awww…they have a music box version of “Mother’s Little Helper” from the Rolling Stones so you can lull your wee little babe to sleep with a song about tranquilizer misuse….so sweet and lovely!

Oh, I can’t wait to see what comes out next…

Verily, our tree was smote from above!

First off, everyone hates us this time of year because we have a HUGE cottonwood tree in the backyard. This tree was growing way before they built our house in the 1920’s but no one cares. All they see are the tufts of cottonwood seeds floating down into their yards, screens, pools, etc…

OK, I admit, it is a blizzard of seeds around this time of year. However, it does provide great shade and the leaves sound pretty when the wind blows. Other than that, it sheds branches and leaves like crazy and is a general pain.

Yesterday, lightning struck the tree. While I was not home, my husband and dog tell me it was quite an amazingly loud blast…well, at least I am guessing that’s what the tail between the legs and whimpering means…and I think the dog’s scared, too 

Here is a picture of where the lightning met the ground (although doesn’t it arc from the ground up? whatever). You can see that it kicked up a big hole in the earth.

 There are bits of shattered wood all over the backyard, the neighbors’ yards and even our front porch. That thing packed a powerful punch! 

Now, of course, we have to decide what to do…..we have an arborist coming out next week to take a look. I’ll keep you posted.

  (deer tick image from Wikipedia Commons)

While doing some online research (that’s a way to surf the web AND get paid for it!) I came across an amusing song about ticks. Oddly enough, there aren’t many lyrical odes to these small blood sucking creatures…

Larry Heagle came up with the amusing Wood Tick Song. Check out the full lyrics at his website.

 I have to admit that even though I like most creepy crawlies, ticks creep me out!

When I used to work at a nature center, I would always find at least one crawling on my clothing this time of year. Luckily, they had never embedded. I remember one irate parent called to complain that they had found a tick (fully engorged…ha, now all the porn sites will stumble across this link!) on their kid after they had hiked the trails. I guess they forgot to buy their body-size plastic bubble at the gift shop before setting out on their walk…or perhaps they missed the nature trail marked “Nature Without all the Icky Stuff This Way.”

Now, don’t confuse ticks with this superhero:

(Gotta watch out for that Apocalypse Cow…)

          p.s.: I know it’s not an insect but I can’t edit my categories…it will have to be close enough

Well, this is just too fun to pass up! A very young Jim Henson (who looks a lot like my Uncle Jim…) explaining how to make a commercial (with hilarious results).

Enjoy:

Warning: NOT for the squeamish!

Chapter One:

     Oh, bugger…a hangnail thingy on my big toe. I’ll just pull that tiny shard off, since it IS sandal weather and that flap doesn’t look too good…

Chapter Two:

     AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Ripped the whole thing clean off…