Posts Tagged ‘go away’

Aaak! It's Zombie Patrons from Hell!

I must first confess that I am not THE actual snarky librarian…you should check out this very funny blog instead, if that’s what you are looking for.

No, this is just a continuation of the previous snarky themes here in my blog. Tonight was a doozy…

Look, with my background I am usually the first one to support science inquiry. And, “yay, you” for studying outside of school. But, no, you cannot construct a mini wrecking ball in between the shelves of the Children’s Area and block all access down that aisle…(using, mind you, stacks of hastily pulled books to weigh down the top of the yard stick) and then experiment with knocking down different sizes of books. No.

The teacher/tudor/supposed adult did not see my logic, leading me to wish I could do a few experiments in force/motion myself right then…

Also, another bike was stolen tonight. I think the image from the security camera is very nice: the bike being taken as it rests right against the sign that says, in all caps: “LOCK YOUR BIKES; BIKES ARE BEING STOLEN.” Guess whose daddy stormed in to complain about the theft? Yes, the man driving the Hummer. Can’t afford the $10 lock, huh?

Finally, we had a mom with a straggling toddler who just couldn’t seem to make it to the checkout counter before closing time (even though we do announce it over the PA system at fifteen minutes & five minutes till). OK, that happens. But then she proceeds to plop 12 DVDs on the counter along with a stack of books, some of which need to be renewed and fines paid, & oh, she has some books on hold to pick-up, too.

So, now we are all waiting. We can’t lock up until she leaves, so this other family comes walking in, saying they just need to drop off some books. Sure, OK, fine, drop your books and vamoose. But, nooooo. They now want me to find a mystery book for their tween son who doesn’t like to read and what would I recommend…

When I explain that we are now 15 minutes past our closing time and that I would be happy to take her name and get back with her tomorrow on that, she gets huffy. She strides off through the stacks saying she’ll just find something on her own.

Yeah…I don’t think so. You know, it’s amazing how dark the stacks are when you turn off all the lights at once. Yes, I am an SOB. But it felt good to do it. Tee hee!

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Picture of Childrens Playground - Free Pictures - FreeFoto.com 

Very, very strange kids today. Must be something in the water?

I was thinking about something like “weirdos at your library” but realized this had not only been done here by Woeful but also that this wasn’t all that weird comparatively.

It started off with me back in the children’s area and overhearing a father and son interaction. The dad, holding a book, said, “Look, Fabio* (*name changed to protect the odd), it’s a cow! What does a cow say?” Fabio replies, “No, No, No!” in a cheery little voice.                                    

 The cow says “no”?!  His father thought it was strange, too….

Then, during family storytime, there was this 3 or 4 year old kid who kept running from one side of the room (at full speed) across to the closed door and body slamming himself up against it and laughing while his parents looked on and did NOTHING.

Which begs the question: Are you encouraging little Rush* (* see above) to play in the street as well? Followed closely by: Why don’t you just take him outside now and let him do that, OK?

Finally, there was a homeschool group that had booked the public meeting room for a spelling bee. When the homeschool kids were done, these three elementary age little girls in long skirts came up to me asking for certain types of books.

Annoyingly, our link to the catalog had just crashed throughout the system so we could not look up anything. Now, I could find the requested “books about rabbits” without the catalog but I was stumped by the request for “books about making things with balloons.”

She wasn’t very specific on WHAT she wanted to make (if, indeed, anything)…balloon animals or hats? Crafts with balloons? What?! What?! She didn’t know…just something about balloons…the kind you blow up (at this point I was hoping she was referring to air inflation). So, three of us proceeded to scan shelves for various books that might fit the bill.

After much searching, we presented her with the books and she took them, seemed pleased with them, said they were “exactly what she wanted,” walked away and promptly put them back onto a shelf a row over. She came back to me and said she now wanted books about Bible stories.

At the same time, one of her sisters came over and asked for…wait for it………books about balloons! This was the one who wanted books on rabbits originally. And, the third and youngest little sister wanted books on rabbits now.

It quickly became apparent that these kids were “not right.”

We all went over to the Bible section in the 200’s and I pulled out several kid level Bibles and Bible story books. They did not even look at them but instead started pulling books off the nearby shelves (and piling them up on the floor) and asking, “Is this a Bible story? What about this one? This one?” I repeated my “No, THESE are the Bible story books here” line (doing the Vanna White thing) five times before I said, “I have to go answer the phone now” and ducked away.

The thing is, it was clear they weren’t being intentionally dense and they did not seem LD. I found it ironic that they had just come from a spelling bee and when I said, “Let’s look for books that have the word “bible” on them” and then showed them an example, they clearly could NOT distinguish them.


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