Posts Tagged ‘librarian’

Yeah,¬†I don’t think I’ll be wearing this to the library party:


Although, I like the skirt ūüėČ

But what’s up with the cape (caplet?)…is it supposed to be a variant of the sweater set?

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Why, oh why, am I so cranky?

Can I blame this on menopause? (And just why is it called menopause and not menostop, anyway…) And, at what point do you¬†transfer from¬†being just cranky and become crotchety? (I’m guessing this must be around the time you start using phrases like “you kids get out of my yard!”)

Random sampling of library craziness:

1.) Oddly enough, after my last post, I had a patron come up and ask me if I would ask a young man (who was sitting at a computer terminal next to her and who was hacking loudly and repeatedly) to leave. I explained that, while I agreed I would not want him to cough on me, I could not legally make him leave. I suggested she move. (BTW, the kid was wearing a BK uniform so you may want to check your burgers over before eating them).

2.) A patron insisted that she could not log onto any of our computers because they were all “messed up.” After some quick checking of our software, I assured her that they were OK and they had no outstanding reservations (where patrons can reserve time spots) on any of them. No, she now loudly repeats, we are clearly just fucking with her as those computers do, indeed, have reservations. So, I show her my administrative screen which clearly shows that there are NO reservations and I suggest that perhaps she had mis-typed a pin number. No, she huffs, she’s not crazy! She knows what she’s doing!

After more teeth gritting questions on my part, we discover she has failed to log off of another computer. I explain that you cannot log onto more than one computer at a time and show her the log off button (which, although she claimed superior computer knowledge, she failed to either locate –at the top of the screen in bold letters–or use). Harumpf, says she.

3.) A woman is shopping on¬†one of our public PCs¬†for who-knows-what and discovers that the site she is on is displaying someone else’s credit card data on the payment screen (well, only the last 5 digits). She is shocked (shocked!) that on a public computer that there is this kind of information displayed. I start to explain about cookies and that this is a public PC, so that, you know, anyone can access it and put in information and she interrupts with, “I know what a cookie is…I work on computers as my job!!”

I suggest that, if she is concerned about data security that she might want to wait and use a more secure PC to complete her transaction. No, we cannot guarantee the security of her credit card information on our public PCs. She clicks around a bit and then gets mad that she can’t access the administrative controls. I try to explain that all the computers are locked against this for (what would seem obvious) good reasons. She grumbles but buys her stuff anyway.

Ah, well…I am counting down the days until my vacation. The first one in over a year…wahoo!

Is it wrong, then, to give all the kids in my story times sugary drinks and noisy toys and then send them back home to their parents? Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

And now, for some light-hearted fun: The Fail Blog

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Aaak! It's Zombie Patrons from Hell!

I must first confess that I am not THE actual snarky librarian…you should check out this very funny blog instead, if that’s what you are looking for.

No, this is just a continuation of the previous snarky themes here in my blog. Tonight was a doozy…

Look, with my background I am usually the first one to support science inquiry. And, “yay, you” for studying outside of school. But, no,¬†you cannot construct a mini wrecking ball in between the shelves of the Children’s Area and block all access down that aisle…(using, mind you, stacks of hastily pulled books to weigh down the top of the yard stick) and then experiment with knocking down different sizes of books. No.

The teacher/tudor/supposed adult did not see my logic, leading me to wish I could do a few experiments in force/motion myself right then…

Also, another bike was stolen tonight. I think the image from the security camera is very nice: the bike being taken as it rests right against the sign that says, in all caps: “LOCK YOUR BIKES; BIKES ARE BEING STOLEN.” Guess whose daddy stormed in to complain about the theft? Yes, the man driving the Hummer. Can’t afford the $10 lock, huh?

Finally, we had a mom with a straggling toddler who just couldn’t seem to make it to the checkout counter before closing time (even though we do announce it over the PA system at¬†fifteen minutes &¬†five minutes till). OK, that happens. But then she proceeds to plop 12 DVDs on the counter along with a stack of books, some of which need to be renewed and fines paid, & oh, she has some books on hold to pick-up, too.

So, now we are all waiting. We can’t lock up until she leaves, so this other family comes walking in, saying they just need to drop off some books. Sure, OK, fine, drop your books and vamoose. But, nooooo. They now want me to find a mystery book for their tween son who doesn’t like to read and what would I recommend…

When I explain that we are now 15 minutes past our closing time and that I would be happy to take her name and get back with her tomorrow on that, she gets huffy. She strides off through the stacks saying she’ll just find something on her own.

Yeah…I don’t think so. You know, it’s amazing how dark the stacks are when you turn off all the lights at once. Yes, I am an SOB. But it felt good to do it. Tee hee!

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Wow! This guy deserves an award for the best response letter to a library patron. It really is an amazingly worded, thoughtful response (I know, I know, you were hoping for something snarky…best to check Craigslist for that!) to a challenge of a book about gay marriage, Uncle Bobby’s Wedding.

It’s a long-ish letter, so please take a moment to check it out at his blog, myliblog, in it’s entirety.

Good stuff!

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Because I wanted to slap some people today.

A nice, solid smack upside the head.

#1: A guy walks up to the Reference Desk (no, this is not the start of a joke…if only it was, people…if only it was…) and asks about a certain movie. He wants to watch Putney Swope. As I am looking it up, he tells me, in his words: “It’s a movie about a black guy who works for this company and he accidentally gets voted in to be the company president. Then, he goes and fires all the white guys and replaces them with all blacks. Yeah, and I guess that¬†will really end up happening in real life soon if Obama is actually elected, huh?”

WTF?! As I am not good at snappy comebacks ( I usually think of something witty to say as they are leaving and getting into their cars), I just stared at him and blinked slowly. I’m thinking he missed the¬†message of this movie.

#2 Our resident old codger stopped in to talk the ear off anyone he can corner. I’d like to feel sorry for the old man but when he starts to loudly recall his old days back when he was a member of the KKK he loses any goodwill from me.

#3 Fruit Bat, as I am now calling crazy computer lady, is off her meds again. Today, she picks me to be her lackey. As I am working at my desk, I hear Fruit Bat shout from across the room:¬†“Hey, hey (snapping fingers)…I need you over here at my computer now!” So, taking my time (I don’t respond well to snapping…), I make my way over there.

She wants me to type in an email address for her. Nope, I won’t do that. Partly because I’ve seen her use the computer every day now for months (sending emails a plenty) and she is perfectly capable of typing this in on her own (and since she claims to be, among other things,¬†a private detective one would think she should be able to¬†master this herself), but mainly because we have a policy that says we don’t do¬†crap like that. I explain this and she then wants me to “confirm” that it is a real email address and guarantee that the email will get there.

I look at what she has written on a scrap of paper and it is complete gibberish. No, I am pretty certain that is not an email address. No, I have never seen an email address that looks like that. But, that’s not acceptable to her because she wrote it down exactly and it can’t be wrong¬†so she says, with an annoyed sigh, “Then go get me the head librarian!” I tell her that he is on the phone but when he is done she is welcome to come to the Reference Desk and talk to him. Then I walk away.

So, for all those mentioned above, this video clip is for you:

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(You just KNOW Freud would have had a field day with this illustration!)

I had two very different conversations with two kids this week at the library. They went a little like this:

Conversation #1:

¬†¬†¬†¬† After a program, I am looking at some children’s books we had set out with a boy in 4th grade. He is talking about one of the pictures when he suddenly stops mid-sentence, wrinkles his nose and says,

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† Boy: “What smells!?”

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† Me: “Not me!” After I pretend to smell my pits in an exaggerated way (Hey, am I classy or what).

     He then mimics me, smells his pits, looks surprized and says,

¬†¬†¬†¬† Boy: “Ug. It’s me!”


Conversation #2:

 I am sitting at the Reference Desk when a very diminutive 4th grade boy walks up and says,

¬†¬†¬†¬† Boy: “Can you tell me where the philosophy section is?”

¬†¬†¬†¬† Me: (being a good librarian and asking for more info) Yes, but we have a lot of books in that area… can you tell me more about what type of book you want? (blah, blah, blah)”

¬†¬†¬†¬† Boy: “Well, I’m looking for books¬†written by¬†Nietzsche.”

¬†¬†¬†¬† Me: “Nietzsche???!!!” (Jaw dropping to floor)

¬†¬†¬†¬† Boy: “Yes, he was a great philosopher…I’ve already finished reading Kierkegaard so I thought I’d try Nietzsche now. Do you want me to spell his name for you?”


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(…unless you are Ewan McGregor, Joaquin Phoenix or Viggo Mortensen…then, by all means, give us some luv darling!)

Ran across one of the funniest videos celebrating National Library Week called “Reference Desk.”

Yes, these questions all sound familiar! I think this guy comes in twice a week at our branch…


Check out all the others here: http://alfocus.blip.tv/posts?view=archive&nsfw=dc


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