Posts Tagged ‘Library’

Wish I could take this to work...

Wish I could take this to work...

Sure, why not…every other crazy thing gets its designated holiday. January has Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day and May has National Nutty Fudge Day (make up your own jokes). Festivus!

It seems that every patron who comes in is celebrating National Wet, Hacking Cough Month (in their own special, phlegmy way). And what ever happened to covering when you cough, anyway? Ick.

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Two very wrong situations at the library recently:

     1.) A young boy comes running in and heads for the new children’s books. He is followed by his annoyed grandmother who yells, “NO BOOKS! You can’t get any books, only videos!”             

     Poor little kid. He got the short straw for a grandparent. (I should note that this boy, who is about seven years old, always says, “Hello, how are you?” and “Thank you very much” to the circulation clerks…he’s a real gentleman).

     2.) A very cute toddler is wandering around the library wearing nothing but a diaper. Mom is sitting at a table up front on her cell phone and doesn’t seem to care that her child is sitting on the floor (the floor of a busy public library) nearly naked and all alone. The kid is picking up litter off the floor and putting it in his mouth. When informed of this situation, she yells at one of her older (meaning about age five) kids to go get the child. The older sister then grabs the toddler’s arm and starts pulling causing, naturally, quite a loud struggle.              

     Rinse and repeat this scenario. I think you should have to be licensed before you are allowed to be a parent.


Finally, this situation is kind of sad, really: A nice little boy, around age six, regularly comes into the library alone around 3:00 p.m. He sits at a table, pulls out his backpack and doodles until 5:30 p.m. when his mother arrives from work to pick him up. It just seems sad that the library is his default day care center.

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Wow! This guy deserves an award for the best response letter to a library patron. It really is an amazingly worded, thoughtful response (I know, I know, you were hoping for something snarky…best to check Craigslist for that!) to a challenge of a book about gay marriage, Uncle Bobby’s Wedding.

It’s a long-ish letter, so please take a moment to check it out at his blog, myliblog, in it’s entirety.

Good stuff!

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Because I wanted to slap some people today.

A nice, solid smack upside the head.

#1: A guy walks up to the Reference Desk (no, this is not the start of a joke…if only it was, people…if only it was…) and asks about a certain movie. He wants to watch Putney Swope. As I am looking it up, he tells me, in his words: “It’s a movie about a black guy who works for this company and he accidentally gets voted in to be the company president. Then, he goes and fires all the white guys and replaces them with all blacks. Yeah, and I guess that will really end up happening in real life soon if Obama is actually elected, huh?”

WTF?! As I am not good at snappy comebacks ( I usually think of something witty to say as they are leaving and getting into their cars), I just stared at him and blinked slowly. I’m thinking he missed the message of this movie.

#2 Our resident old codger stopped in to talk the ear off anyone he can corner. I’d like to feel sorry for the old man but when he starts to loudly recall his old days back when he was a member of the KKK he loses any goodwill from me.

#3 Fruit Bat, as I am now calling crazy computer lady, is off her meds again. Today, she picks me to be her lackey. As I am working at my desk, I hear Fruit Bat shout from across the room: “Hey, hey (snapping fingers)…I need you over here at my computer now!” So, taking my time (I don’t respond well to snapping…), I make my way over there.

She wants me to type in an email address for her. Nope, I won’t do that. Partly because I’ve seen her use the computer every day now for months (sending emails a plenty) and she is perfectly capable of typing this in on her own (and since she claims to be, among other things, a private detective one would think she should be able to master this herself), but mainly because we have a policy that says we don’t do crap like that. I explain this and she then wants me to “confirm” that it is a real email address and guarantee that the email will get there.

I look at what she has written on a scrap of paper and it is complete gibberish. No, I am pretty certain that is not an email address. No, I have never seen an email address that looks like that. But, that’s not acceptable to her because she wrote it down exactly and it can’t be wrong so she says, with an annoyed sigh, “Then go get me the head librarian!” I tell her that he is on the phone but when he is done she is welcome to come to the Reference Desk and talk to him. Then I walk away.

So, for all those mentioned above, this video clip is for you:

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I had one of those odd days where two completely different patrons asked me the same obscure copyright question about a hour apart. While I was looking up the answer online at www.copyright.gov I found out something even more odd:

Apparently, so many freaks  people have bothered the U. S. Copyright Office about how to copyright their sightings of Elvis that they put this question on their FAQ page!

Sadly for all you Waffle House patrons, you can ONLY copyright your actual pictures of Elvis. Read the full text from the Copyright Offive here for details.

This is important info, as there was a scuffle over copyright of a picture of a dead Elvis  (don’t worry fans, I’m sure it was faked just like those landing on the Moon shots…) from that bastion of authenticity, the National Enquirer.

Incidentally, there is a really cool site called Ask a Librarian that the Library of Congress has here. What I really like is the policy note at the bottom that says:

“Please note that the scope of the services does not include: compilation of extensive bibliographies, requests for information connected with contests, completion of school or work assignments, translations or research in heraldry or family history.”

Can I use that at my job, please?! People, do your own homework!


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(You just KNOW Freud would have had a field day with this illustration!)

I had two very different conversations with two kids this week at the library. They went a little like this:

Conversation #1:

     After a program, I am looking at some children’s books we had set out with a boy in 4th grade. He is talking about one of the pictures when he suddenly stops mid-sentence, wrinkles his nose and says,

      Boy: “What smells!?”

      Me: “Not me!” After I pretend to smell my pits in an exaggerated way (Hey, am I classy or what).

     He then mimics me, smells his pits, looks surprized and says,

     Boy: “Ug. It’s me!”


Conversation #2:

 I am sitting at the Reference Desk when a very diminutive 4th grade boy walks up and says,

     Boy: “Can you tell me where the philosophy section is?”

     Me: (being a good librarian and asking for more info) Yes, but we have a lot of books in that area… can you tell me more about what type of book you want? (blah, blah, blah)”

     Boy: “Well, I’m looking for books written by Nietzsche.”

     Me: “Nietzsche???!!!” (Jaw dropping to floor)

     Boy: “Yes, he was a great philosopher…I’ve already finished reading Kierkegaard so I thought I’d try Nietzsche now. Do you want me to spell his name for you?”


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(Yes, I’m still listening to kid music Cd’s since I am a children’s librarian and need to use this stuff for programs…)

In a previous post, I had mentioned the very odd music Cd’s and videos from Mother Goose Rocks.

Well, now we have another series of odd music for kiddies: Rockabye Baby!

They take popular artists and perform their songs as lullabies for kids. This gets very, very odd when you discover the “lullaby renditions” of The Cure. Gee, oddly enough, they choose not to do a version of “Killing an Arab”…..wonder why…..

These are all instrumentals done mainly with, …are you ready for this…, a glockenspiel, vibraphone and mellotron. I’m not sure how that transfers for the Metallica album but the Beach Boys one stinks. Check out all the odd titles here!

Awww…they have a music box version of “Mother’s Little Helper” from the Rolling Stones so you can lull your wee little babe to sleep with a song about tranquilizer misuse….so sweet and lovely!

Oh, I can’t wait to see what comes out next…

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